what I feel

I feel like I did nothing today. Nothing at all. I feel kike nothing is going the right way and it's painful. I should have study for tomorrow's test but I didn't. I want to be able to do what I have to do. Doing nothing won't solve my problems. I want a better life for myself but I always forget about it until I have something important to do.

I'm tired of him telling me that he loves me even after doing everything he can to prove me that he doesn't. Why does everthing I want never happen for the best? I'm tired of losing all the time. I'm sick of it all. I just want to be happy and enjoy life but it's hard.

I have to take care of me and do what I have to do. I'm better than this and I will succeed. I have to. I will fail that test tomorrow but it's only worth 10%. I have to stop crying and enjoy life and worry less. I think I'm just tired.

This post made no sense but I'm writing the first thing that comes to my mind. It did help a lot to do that.

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It's been a while......... Holy molly!!

A year and a month since my last update. Well, it's was the only update of 2012. lool

A lot of things happenned. My boyfriend cheat on me with his ex, he wanted to be with her and than when he notice she was a total bitch, he wanted to have me back. Forget it.

I have done things that I'm not proud of but now, I have to live my life without him, even if I want to be with him... I know it's not the right thing to do, but I wanted him to be my friend. Maybe it's a mistake, but I like to be with him. I prefer him when we are not a couple.

Now I live in my room in an appartment with 3 other people. I'm renting a room here so, I can be stuck with a anyone, but the people here are cool except for that bitch that lives upstairs. -_-

I started to play violin, I really like it. I don't have time to excercise much these days because I have to study for my exams.... I have two exams this week. T_T

Going to bed now, have to study tomorrow + work. :)


Hello!! I'm back from the.... Well a lot happened since the last time I wrote here.

I'm not working in a video games store anymore, it's so much better now!! I'm going to school and I really like it!! My dream of having a better life may come true!! :D

I was looking forward to find myself a job but my boyfriend wants me to go to a trip to Europe this Christmas and finding work when you are not available for this time of year... It's pretty tricky. Well, he decide to help me financially. I'm so happy :D three weeks in Europe!! It's gonna be awesome!!!!

Well, maybe I will wrote more often... Well we will see!! XD


(Personal message for a bitch : GTFO, why are you even here? Leave me alone drama queen!)

(no subject)

Well, what the fuck happen with the release date of Silent Hill Downpour? Well anyway it doesn't matter, I have loooooooots of game to play right now XD

My boyfriend bought a lot of games this week XD Like Kirby Return to Dreamland and New Super Mario Bros Wii (he bought some others like Battlefield 3, uncharted 1 and 2 but I don't think I'm gonna play them anyway XD)

There's Metal Gears Solid HD Collection comming up next thursday, don't know if I'm gonna buy right away because I fear I will not have the time to play it XD So I think I'm gonna wait. I have what, like 4 games still new with factory seal? XD LOL

So right now I'm stuck in Paper Mario on N64, when I'll get bored of running around I will probably cheat and search for a Walkthrough... NooooooO!!!

I Finally manage to clear the dishes!! Yeah!!!!!! Right now I have to do some laundry and fold some clothes and towels..... Dahhhhhhhh!!

And It's not over, I have a lot of work to do in this appartment!! There's stuff everywhere!! :(

Well the appartment is not gonna clean itself!! GO! GO! GO ME!
  • Current Music
    Boyfriend playing Uncharted 2

(no subject)

ooooooK, So this week is better than the last. loool Well, it's ok now. :/

So now I'm worry that I can't have Battlefield 3 next week -_-;

Well, this job is sooo not for me, I hate been stress because of money or things that I can't have in store :( That's sucks :(

Let's talk about something else.

I want to lost weigt so I have started to Minçavi groups and etc. Right now I'm not really into it. I lost like 6 pounds, but I have gain like 2 in 2 weeks. Soooo and I not feeling like eating well, it's hard XD I have to find my motivation back. I want to be able to wear clothes that I like and be please of what I see in the mirror and I want to feel better about myself. So i have like 70 pounds to lost and I wanted to lost it in a year! So next years I will be able to do cosplay in anime convention! :D

SO I have decide to stop buying games! Well, I have to finish one if I want another. If it's a serie, I have to finish the other one I have before buying the next one and etc. !!! So right now I'm on Paper Mario N64!!! After that I will play Paper mario and the thousand year door on gamecube and the other one un wii Super paper mario!! Why? because there's a 3DS version that is coming up next year so! I freaking want it!!

Silent Hill downpour is coming soon!!! I have to finish homecoming!!! XD Well is I wait a little, the price will be cheaper so, maybe I will wait for this one because I think the Silent hill series is beginning to be like the Final Fantasy Series... It's not what it use to be :( Well, I've give it a try for sure!

(no subject)

I'm so sad right now. I really hate it to go to work right now because of some stupids assholes decisions!

I'm not happy to wake up and thinking I have to go to work, because I know that a customer is gonna be mad at me because we didn't receive their Dark soul's collector edition. They are waiting for like a week and a half...

Let me explain, the video game store where I work have some money issues so we are not able to pay the rent so... I don't know how to says "franchisseur" in english, well we can pay some people to open a store and have the same concept as the other store and etc. Those people propose the owners of the store where I work (my boyfriend and an asshole), to pay the rent for september, october and november, BUT not for august... I have to pay the distributor because I can't receive my games and stuff. WELL I COULDN'T PAY THEM BECAUSE THEY TOOK THE MONEY FOR THE RENT FOR AUGUST!!!! SO MY CUSTOMER WHO PRE-ORDER DARK SOUL'S COLLECTOR'S EDITION WEREN'T ABLE TO HAVE THEIR COPY AT THE RELEASE DATE AND NOW DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHERE TO FIND THAT? ON EBAY AT 120$ YOU FUCKING MORON WHY PAY NOVEMBER WHEN YOU COULD HAVE PAYED AUGUST. I'M SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would really like them to get yelled at by a customer, even some of them are really royal customers and I'm really sad for them when I see their sad face thinking they can't play the game they wait for... I know it's not the end of the world but... It's like everyone is having cake and you can't.... Because some douche decide that you couldn't have some...... I'm very not comfortable in this right now and I got no help. So then, I should tell them to fuck off? For them it's not the end of the world but.... I'm really not cool with it and it's very unconfortable to speak to a customer about it because I can't tell them that we have money issues and stuff.

I'm really tired right now and I'm always crying these days, I wonder when I'm gonna be happy to be working somewhere.... Does the perfect workplace exist? I really like to work but... It's so hard right now....
  • Current Mood
    tired Tired and sad :(

Sunday evening

So I did a lot of cleaning this afternoon like I moved the bed and move somes boxes too. I want it to be clean when Steve will come back home because it we be done with all the cleaning after we move in! I want it to be done before november! I want to be able to walk free in my appartment and be able not to think about all the cleaning and moving stuff.

Yesterday, I have invited one of my friend to eat with me and then go swimming in the pool. So she said yes and she came home for supper. We went to the pool after. We talk a lot about her wedding and all kind of stuff. I was happy she came to see me. :)

I had some cake here and we ate some. After she left I couln'd bring myself not to think about it so... I ate more cake.... I do feel bad now because I'm trying to lose weight but hey it's not that important that I ate this cake, I have to be more careful in the future that it! :) I want to lose weight but I don't want to rush things.

Well, I'm going to wash my hair and go to bed.

Good night!!!
  • Current Mood
    tired tired

This morning...

I went back to bed and I wake up when the phone rang... I thought so that if it's important they'll call back but I couldn't bring myself not to answer... So I run out of the room and got the phone. It was Steve telling me that he was going to embark in his plane so it went well to cross the border! because he has some algerian visa and burkina faso visa so.... Everytime he is the one that the security guard check out loool He can't wait to have a new passport but he will probablement go to algeria or another country with terrorism.... lool

So I did play Portal 2 on Xbox360 XD I like that game, it's so funny, Glados and Weathley are really something! XD

I had to restart a game because my boyfriend bought the xbox360 version and I began a save game on my ps3 because I rent the one from ps3 at work... Well, I wasn't pretty far, only at the half of the game! XD Well, I thought I had a save files on Steve Xbox with my account but I thnik I have started a game under his account so I restarted one. :D I don't mind because I really like that game because of it's sarcasms and funny lines. :P

Well, going to get dress for the day and make lunch and so some appartment cleaning!!! :D
  • Current Mood
    hungry hungry

(no subject)

Ouf it's like 6:30 am in the morning, my boyfriend left a 6:00 am because he have to go to Montreal to take a plane to Denver for his work. So I went back to bed but I can't sleep so here I am.

Yesterday, we went to the store because we Friday we went to the Best Buy Sales and bought things for the store lire ps3 controller et etc. It's was cheap so :D

We got a call from Steve's dad that he wanted us to go have lunch with them, but I had to go to the grocery store first... And it's the last time I'm gonna to that because I hate been pushed around when I buy my groceries because I always forgot things (even if I wrote it down!!!) and I cannot realler check out the deals and everything -_-

So we went to steve's parent's house and I got some tomatoes and cucombers. :D I wanted to see the baby peacock!! They are really cute!! you see, Steve's parents have 2 peacocks and they had two baby together!! It's really cute!! Google it!! :P The male peacock is the one with all the nice colors, like Blue, green, with the all the beautiful feather! The female doesn't have that, well it's like that!! lol So every Peacock with a long set of feathers, it's a guy :P It's so cool when the male Peacock open his feathers, it's really gorgeous!!

At like, 9:15 pm, we took the road and went home (It can takes us like an hour from where we live to go there!)

After that, we arrived and there's was someone in our parking... Steve was angry and decide to park juste behind the car that was in our parking lot. He ask me is I had a pen with me, I gave him one and saw a woman coming. It's was the woman's car in our parking. She was a guest and she said that her friend told her that it was a guest parking, but I told her that it's writen since august 24 that it was our parking.. She said that she understood that because it happen to her too. So Steve let her go with her car and park in is parking. So I was right about our parking, everyone think it's a guest parking -_- Because when our parking is taken by someone else, it's not the same car everytime! Well that's it for today for the parking! XD

So this morning, I'm not totally sleepy, I think I'm gonna play Portal 2 but at the same time I'm a little tired so I don't know what I'm gonna do right now, I think if I go back to sleep right now I won't be able to sleep... So.... Well... We'll see :P
  • Current Mood
    irate irate

(no subject)

It's sunny today, I'll probably go for a walk or something! I think autumn it's almost here because it's beginning to be cold outside, well yesterday it was really cold!! :P

So this morning nothing really new, I ate and I did some laundry and still doing it! lolol Because my boyfriend Steve need his clothes to be clean because he is leaving for a week again. He's going in Denver for work.

I don't know what to do for diner, I don't want to eat spaguetti again! llol I don't have much imagination for lunch these days!!

Well, I'm going back to do some cleaning! Or play something llol :P
  • Current Music
    My boyfriend playing Dead Island!